The Eight Legged Friend

I understand how difficult “identity” is to deal with. And I don’t fault you. I think that you have been doing a pretty good job. And I admire the resolution and courage that you have shown.

It may be worth noting here, though, that there is nothing more dangerous than a cornered animal. And in the case of the human animal, it is the desperate person who is the most violent, the most insecure person who has to control everything and have it their way, the disillusioned person who tries to destroy the sanctity of others.

It does not help such people to confront them, because they only fight all the harder. I think that we can try to offer them help, warmth, friendship and compassion. But ultimately, they can only help themselves, by finding in themselves the inextinguishable truth that threads its way through all that is.

It is not at all uncommon for those who are approaching the 50-year-old mark, and who haven’t fulfilled their dreams and aspirations in the measure that they had hoped, to feel that their life has been wasted and that they have been duped. Some will react to this situation by just buying a new red sports car and start dating a partner 25 years younger then they. Others just take a new job, etc. And some, in their despair, may lapse into extreme disillusionment.

Not everyone, sadly, makes it through this transition. They become bitter, cynical, angry, frightened people. And, not much that anyone has to say will be of much help to these people. I think that, at best, we can show them patience and kindness, while understanding the inestimable burden of failure (in their minds) that they carry on their shoulders. And, when dealing with such people, we need to bear in mind that their anger is not really about us, it is about themselves and their inability to forgive themselves.

And, there are others who, like the phoenix, will rise again from the ashes of their burned out lives, tempered by the crucible that they have been forged in.

Although I don’t know what the future holds for some, I know that they have many friends who are waiting patiently, hopefully, that they will find their way again.

Three Gifts

It has been my experience that that which reveals the truth, is in harmony with the truth, promotes the truth, that is right speech. And conversely, that which obscures the truth, subverts the truth, changes the truth into something else, that is wrong speech.

The Buddha never avoided saying things because they were unpleasant, or made people feel uncomfortable. Nor did he try to preserve his dominion by excluding people or debate from consideration. That is why his words still ring true to this day. And why his life makes the truth a way worth living.

Right speech illuminates and makes the truth known to us. It is not something that hides the truth.

Meeting Our Dust

I really know what you mean: life is toughest when we are called upon to act by the values that we espouse. And, I know that doing the “right thing” is difficult, because somehow we have to learn to temper our ideals and our passions with compassion and understanding.

I think that it helps to remember that we are all basically trying to reach that which we think is the ultimate good – each through their own way. And, to be ready with forgiveness and encouragement when we inevitably encounter our faults and human failings. All without losing sight of our cherished ideals and those things that make life meaningful to us.

Welcome to life!

Crossing the Heart

Thankfully, there are still young people out there who are willing to take up the lance against the militant commercialism of our society; someone who values meaning over the mirage of style.

We may all have a little trouble at times differentiating the light of the Truth from the glare of our dreams. But, I hope that somehow we can see that while many might claim to have in their hearts the ideal of the realization of truth and perfection, not every ones actions will be in concert with these ideals.

Actions speak louder than words. And when we find those whose actions are of disservice, obfuscation, and disregard to these ideals and to the community that strives for these ideals, then we must come to terms with the reality that these are not the ideals such a person actually holds.

And while we need to give such people are hearts and our compassion, we need not give our allegiance and shelter to their self-serving agendas. I think that we just have to go on from there, to try to give life to these hopes using the abilities that we have in our lives, as best we can. And leave behind the self-serving to pursue their games without our participation.

I know that it is difficult to leave behind old comfortable relationships that we have developed. But sometimes the writing on the wall is pretty plain to see. And then you have to face the facts: that some people are not who you hoped they would be. Perhaps, if it is harder for some of us to face this than others, that is understandable.

The Formation of Physical Reality

For those who are interested, a new article entitled “The Formation of Physical Reality” is now on the Bodhimind Institute website, http://www.bodhimindinstitute.org

Hopefully, the article will be inspiring to those are in their own process of learning to understand how reality is manifested, by showing that one can, in fact, see into these processes, and discern by themselves how they work. Because the article is written from the perspective of first hand experience, it has not been necessary to employ abstract Buddhist terminology.

Written from a Western perspective, the material in the article covers ground that may not be addressed in other Buddhist literature and may be entierly new to some. Nevertheless, the material should be understandable to most people, as it is plainly laid out and includes many examples of the processes that are being presented.


From the article:

This is one of the most interesting subjects of our time. Unfortunately, the explanations of both science and religion have largely left this subject with limited understandings. Nevertheless, the basic explanations of the workings of this are fairly easy to understand. The explanation that is presented here is one that is based upon the author’s direct observations while practicing Zen mediation.

In order to set the stage for further understanding the device of an analogy is being used to a limited extent. The concept of a group of writers will be used as an analogy to illustrate how this process works on a fundamental level. In addition, other concepts will be introduced along with the analogy, which are not analogies, but generalizations of processes at work.

Continue...


Thanks for your interest.

Now What?

There are times when I have had very deep experiences of what seems to be the most ultimate truth.

Several years ago when a series of these very deep experiences began, right after one of these “direct encounters”, a question came into my mind that didn’t quite seem to come from myself. It asked: “Now that you know This, what do you want to do?”

My reply was that I wanted to enhance it. And, I had to explain to the questioner (a guardian perhaps?) that It was so beautiful, so exquisite, that I felt the only worthwhile thing to do was to add to its beauty, to its wonder. That is, by my activities, bring that to It which is going to make it more glorious and wonderful.

I am a painter, not a word-smith. So my deepest utterances are “spoken” in terms of color and brush stroke. Others, however, are blessed with the facility of communication with the written word. And for them, revelation is communicated through language. I don’t dismiss their glorification of Truth any more eagerly than my own meager attempts, just because they use words instead of paint.

Do you really want a Truth that does not have words, that does not have paintings, that does not have communication?

Or, would only some words, some paintings, some communication be acceptable?

Ten Ghosts

In 1966 I began to practice meditation, just a few times a week. Then one day, early in 1973, I began to practice Zen in earnest. I began to practice continuously, moment to moment. After about five days of practicing like this, I awoke. I realized no-self, lived in emptiness, knew Buddha-mind and continual Samadhi. I lived this way, not just for a few brief moments, but as my daily life – from waking in the morning to sleep at night.

After about a week, I went “deeper” into realization and began to experience what some call “luminous emptiness”. I did this for only a few minutes. After that, I just continued to live as I described above, an “awakened one.” And, did so for several months more.

The joy of living this way was everything you’ve read about, and more. Not just the ending of suffering, but knowing an ever present bliss, realizing perfect posture at all moments, seeing the cause of any afflictions and the release from them, as well as the chain of probabilities resulting from different views; realizing the beautiful symphony of life as it expresses itself in spontaneous wonder in each moment.

As I met “normal” people, who to me seemed to be “asleep”, I realized that they were suffering, and I wanted to tell them that they didn’t need to. Life was simpler without suffering. I wanted to help them, but didn’t really know how. Just telling them about it didn’t seem like enough to help them live this way.

So in my wish to help others realize the Way that I knew, I began to experiment with myself to understand the underlying processes involved. Unfortunately, one of my experiments went awry and I acquired a bit of amnesia. This lasted for about six months, long enough for me to get out of the habit of living the Way. And, I became just another suffering person again.

After I regained my memory of how I had lived before, I once again began to practice as I remembered I had done. This time however, I choose to watch more closely what was happening to me so that I could understand the process better and thus help others learn how to do this. I practiced and practiced (and my practice was both incessant and diligent, because I knew the beauty that I was striving for, from my own first hand experience). But, I was not successful as I was before. I took a part time job after graduating from college so that I could continue with my practice devotedly.

As the years passed, I did not achieve the deeply hoped for results which I had in 1973. But, I did learn a lot about the process, and I learned about other’s practices throughout the ages and in many different religions. Several times I did regain the Way, but only for brief periods, never as my daily life. I began to do a kind of writing meditation, eventually filling up 5 or 6 file storage boxes with my muses, ideals and beliefs, and my reflections upon them. My meditation also took me deep into the roots of my own suffering – basically an unloved and unappreciated child – unraveling all of those threads until they fell from my grasp into nothingness.

In the mid 1980’s I was extremely fortunate to become an apprentice Creator. The Creators are non-physical beings who are responsible for bringing things into being. They do not work on the physical plane, but create that which may eventually find its way here. For instance, one of their creations has come down to us as what we call language.

The story of how I was invited to become an apprentice is too long to include here, unfortunately. My lessons were mainly given to me in the dream state, while I would realize them in waking reality, thinking about them, their implications, and truth, as one does with any lessons given in the classroom. Before I was allowed to use any of these great creative powers myself, I had to take a vow that I would not use my abilities to do harm to another. My creations so far have been rather crude beginner’s pieces – nothing to brag about. And, for the current time being I am not actively furthering my lessons, as I am concentrating on my other work here.

Then in the years following, in my meditation practice, I began to study the nature of the fabric of physical reality. I watched the processes of this very real illusion of reality unfold. This took several years, and was done bit by bit and from several viewpoints. Eventually I was able to understand how everything comes together to create this wonderful, and at times terrifying, experience we have that is called life. I related several of these processes on some of the threads at internet Buddhist community forums.

My meditation experiences have become deeper over the last several years. And, I finally got into studying the so-called “luminous emptiness” that I had first become acquainted with so may decades ago. I work slowly, giving myself time to reflect on an experience and its implications – thoroughly digesting it – before going onto the next deep experience.

Because I work for a living only part time, and live very reclusively, I have both the time and opportunity to do this. By dipping into the unknowable again and again, its ever-incessant beauty has become home to me. I have experienced to some small degree the fabric of its reality, its wisdom, and the joyful wealth that is its nature.

I have witnessed the transcendence of the self and also its dissolution into all. I have been very honored to have had the experiences that I have realized. While I am not a teacher, my current work is to help inspire those who are interested, to deepen their practice and to consider that there might indeed be truth worth realizing.

Needless to say, it’s been a very full life.

Words, Tears, Laughter

Any one that achieves non-duality has already lost it.

It has been my experience that deeper insight brings about greater awareness, not greater indifference.

But, it is like being a parent. When your toddler first learns to run, you must let them go. You cannot hold them, or they will never learn. And, you pray that they don’t fall and hurt themselves. And yet, if they do, you are there to help dry their tears, and remind them that it’s ok; they will be able to run just fine one day soon. To keep trying and not to give up.

And, so it is with what seem to be my own foibles, and the apparent foibles of others. By seeing the clear light of truth that shines through all these activities. In the light and calm of emptiness, the wisdom of the truth is realized in each momentary happenstance. It is in this great Buddha mind that both sorrow and joy are vessels of the Way. And, when you practice with this, you learn that in their own way, each leads to the Truth.

And so, words are the way, tears are the way, laughter is the way.

Up 10 Degrees

I guess that I have a little different perspective on life from you. I am not trying to maintain a faith in the Buddha’s teaching or in the Four Nobel Truths. As far as I am concerned they can all be thrown in the trashcan.

What I am interested in is seeing things the way they truly are: If this confirms the Four Nobel Truths and the Buddha’s teachings, then great, I can joyously honor those teachings for the truth they reveal; But if truth informs me that matters are other than they have been expressed in the dharma, then I will have to go with truth.

Having said that, I must affirm that I have found a high degree of convergence with the way things are and that which the Buddha taught. However, I must add that my findings are not always congruent with some of the widely accepted interpretations of what the Buddha is thought to have meant when he said one thing or another.

Although it might seem to be a wonderful goal to attain freedom from suffering. To me it is so much more meaningful to realize the revelation of truth as it unfolds itself before us. And also with us, as we play our parts in the exploration of this unfathomable presence.

As far as when to leave the vehicle behind. In Zen we have a saying: “First there is a mountain, then there is no mountain, then there is.” (But since you are in a Theravada practice, I guess I’d better explain a little. When you are at that “point”, the vehicle is "just gone". But, when it is appropriate to do so (as in when teaching others), you can always point to it(the vehicle), because then it is seeming to be real. Thus we have the Four Nobel Truths.

The Third Oc

What is ultimately possible (that is, sustained insight) is not the same as intellectual accomplishment (which your acquaintances may be relying on).

However, we must temper our idealistic values with the realities of life on the human sphere. That is, while we all have the possibility of attaining full Buddhahood, alas not all of us are cut out for that quite yet. In other words, these people with their half a loaf (which is better than none) may have gone as far in their development for now as they are ready to go. And that is fine for them: We travel this path one step at a time one foot in front of the other.

A flower does not open until it is ready to accept the full rays of the sun. But, the bud can be as handsome as the bloom. So I try to approach such people with warmth and generosity. Perhaps our “not good enough” is, for them, a momentous achievement. And, I try to honor their “spirit” with the appreciation of the work they are making (looking at the glass half full, rather than the glass half empty you might say).

You are very blessed, to have a life that is ready to take another step into the realization of the Way.

For me, I try to not lose sight of all the times I’ve been a foolish asshole in the past (and probably will be in the future) – it helps to keep things in perspective :-)

The Oc

While I will not be surprised if people consider this commentary to be sheer lunacy, I offer it up at least as another point of view that you might care to consider.


There is a small group of people who “control” the world. Their control is not through political power per se, but through economic power. They are immensely wealthy people, but you will not see their names listed in Fortune 500, they have learned to keep out of the spotlight.

They exercise their method of control through investing is various corporations. They don’t do this directly, but through holding companies and mutual investment groups. But because they are wealthy enough to have a large chunk of investments in so many companies, they are able to influence, indirectly, the course of events in ways that are more favorable to their interests.

For instance, if they want to see a merger between two companies (HP and Compact would be an example) they would have one or more of their holding companies call up the mutual fund managers that they have invested with, and explain that if the managers don’t vote for the merger, then they might be forced to pull their investments out of the fund. Obviously, the managers would vote for the merger rather than lose some very important clients.

You will not see these people as the executives of major corporations, they will be working in the background through “friends” that they might have on the boards of directors, or through policy advisory groups that help determine institutional direction. These people are in it for the long run, they have far ranging plans and are willing to be patient in watching their plans come to fruition. They don’t want to exercise overt power because they know that figureheads eventually become scapegoats. And they don’t want absolute power because they realize that people are much more productive if they have at least the illusion of freedom.

They exercise political control only to the extent that they need to, and only indirectly. Their holding companies fund highly influential think tanks. These think tanks (policy making groups) are called upon by civic leaders to help decide on national agendas. Likewise, the wealthy corporations and groups which help fund the candidate’s elections also have a say in policy decisions. And when the candidate is elected, the people that he or she brings into his administration will naturally include those people from these corporations and groups, or be recommended by them.

These people are not going to call up some leader and tell them that they want such and such done. It is much more indirect than that. The people who work for those in control just make sure that the employees that are hired and eventually promoted up the ranks are the kind of people that think the way that these people would prefer them to think. These employees may not even know who is at the top of the food chain, they are just doing their job; making sure that their business makes the most profit possible for their investors. In other words, the leaders that these people support are going to be the ones that are already leaning their way.

Again, the agenda of these people is to maintain and increase their wealth. And they influence politics when it is convergent with this ideal.

Historically, these are not just some smart business executives that have grabbed a big piece of the pie through some stock deals. Instead these people are from very old families who have had and controlled a great deal of wealth over many centuries. They have always been involved in this kind of influence, but in the past it was more though the “old boy network”. It has been through the advent of the hugely successful system of the stock market that has given them the opportunity for even greater management of world affairs. With so many years of experience, they really know what they are doing: when and how to make their moves and when to stay their hand.

The situation in the Middle East threatens the economic interests of these people. They have substantial investments in the whole oil dependent economy. These investments are not only in the energy companies themselves, but also in automakers and the other vast industries, like shipping, which depend upon oil as the energy source. Lately, their influence in Middle East countries has been growing more tenuous. As Middle East countries swing more to the right in the fundamentalist sense, these people fear a scenario in which fundamentalist (anti-western) forces might gain control of the vast oil reserves of the region. Such control has the potential for the economic destabilization of the western societies, or at the very least severely impacting the profit margins of many of the companies they are invested in.

Their solution to this potential problem is to gain more control over a significant share of the oil resources in the region. That significant resource may be a country called Iraq. Unfortunately it may be really quite simple as far as some are concerned. Remove the current leader’s government and install the appropriate new government, which will be more favorable to western interests. But more importantly, assign the oil leases to western oil producers (out of the hands of the fundamentalist control).

Mind you, it is not that they need the oil in Iraq; there is still plenty of oil around elsewhere. What they need is the guarantee that if the region should shift politically, that the western economies will not be at the mercy of the radicals (and therefore, we would only be able to rely on oil from elsewhere). They will have an assured source of oil in the region as well as a western friendly government that they can count on there. So, all of this is just a strategic chess move on the big game board of the world that these oligarchs are playing. All the speeches about freeing a country from a tyrant and saving westerners from a menace is just window dressing to placate the public.

It is not the case that GW is one of these oligarchs. Nor is not the case that a Mr. Z calls up Geo. Jr. one day and says “I want you to invade a particular country next spring.” This all started years ago when GW was chosen as a political prospect, and coincidentally his views were in league with the overall agenda of these people. The advisors and the Washington think tanks were placed to affirm this strategic move as vital to the nations interests. It’s just been a matter of time till the current military action could be gotten around to.

Initiation, Guided, Trust

This may be a little hard to explain, but let me try. I am being general here in these remarks just to give you an outline of what is going on.

There are many ways to practice, and they all can lead to direct realization. However, some practices are more intrinsic with the nature of the ultimate truth. Emptiness is one of these; it is a practice that you can realize locally and ultimately.

And then, there some practices that are more appropriate only to relevant truths. This accounts for the famous saying about leaving the raft behind once you have crossed the river. It is these later practices that can become “hindrances”, as you put it.

It is the former practices that are the more interesting ones to this discussion. In realizations of highest truth these practices still prevail, but in a strange way they morph into greater understandings, and become subsumed within this greater “framework” of the highest truth. Yet strains of their eminence can still be seen in the greater fabric of truth.

When one realizes one of these eminent truths as a continuous daily reality of their lives, then sitting-meditation becomes irrelevant because that person realizes the truth without that sitting-meditation formality. (We should all be so lucky).

It is not that they have given up sitting because it was a hindrance, but because direct awareness of the truth was a part of their daily lives whether they sat or not. Whether the people that some speak about have really attained this level of awareness, I can’t say.

On a final note, yes such a person could sit in meditation and go even deeper into knowing, however this is not the middle way. It is interesting, I think, to learn about the nature of truth through deep realization, but one can only do this so much.

After you explore a bit and go “there” repeatedly, it gets to be a bit old hat because you’ve learned what it is about. And if you would like to continue in such deep realizations, then I believe that you will be opting out of the physical space-time continuum. Which is certainly all right, its just not life here.