The Eight Legged Friend

I understand how difficult “identity” is to deal with. And I don’t fault you. I think that you have been doing a pretty good job. And I admire the resolution and courage that you have shown.

It may be worth noting here, though, that there is nothing more dangerous than a cornered animal. And in the case of the human animal, it is the desperate person who is the most violent, the most insecure person who has to control everything and have it their way, the disillusioned person who tries to destroy the sanctity of others.

It does not help such people to confront them, because they only fight all the harder. I think that we can try to offer them help, warmth, friendship and compassion. But ultimately, they can only help themselves, by finding in themselves the inextinguishable truth that threads its way through all that is.

It is not at all uncommon for those who are approaching the 50-year-old mark, and who haven’t fulfilled their dreams and aspirations in the measure that they had hoped, to feel that their life has been wasted and that they have been duped. Some will react to this situation by just buying a new red sports car and start dating a partner 25 years younger then they. Others just take a new job, etc. And some, in their despair, may lapse into extreme disillusionment.

Not everyone, sadly, makes it through this transition. They become bitter, cynical, angry, frightened people. And, not much that anyone has to say will be of much help to these people. I think that, at best, we can show them patience and kindness, while understanding the inestimable burden of failure (in their minds) that they carry on their shoulders. And, when dealing with such people, we need to bear in mind that their anger is not really about us, it is about themselves and their inability to forgive themselves.

And, there are others who, like the phoenix, will rise again from the ashes of their burned out lives, tempered by the crucible that they have been forged in.

Although I don’t know what the future holds for some, I know that they have many friends who are waiting patiently, hopefully, that they will find their way again.