For Manik

I experienced emptiness for the first time a few months after I had turned 19 yo. I actually enjoyed having no-self. It felt unburdened and free. It was really very interesting and joyous. Having no-mind was also very cool.

One evening while in meditation, as my awareness of emptiness increased, I also became aware of something (not a thing, however) almost like energy with sparkling qualities, very active and potent, within my immediate “area” (or, what would have been in my immediate area if there had been a me and an area and a there). I didn’t fear this, although to be honest, I had no idea what was happening to me, and I don’t mean just in the literal sense. (I was just going forward with my practice; I had no ideas about enlightenment in mind or any intentions of trying to attain it.)

I did become concerned though, not because I feared this ever growing experience, in fact it was very intriguing and liberating, but about going further, least I leave the human realm and be unable to return (or, perhaps re-manifest would be a better term).

For sometime after that I was very hesitant to go very far into that Great Emptiness when I was practicing meditation. Not only afraid that I might be unable to return, but also concern that I didn’t know what “lie ahead”.

But, eventually, through continued and repeated practice, I was able to “venture in” slowly and cautiously, so that my concerns were quelled. Thereafter, I was able to experience and explore to my ability, without fear. And I found, dear Osel, that it is far more mysterious than you might think.