As clarity increases, frameworks shift.
As stillness grows, the burden of certainty falls from your grasp.
Is it illusion, is it stillness?
The unknowable becoming just so.
Time and space, here and now: mythologies of a once fragile mind.
This is really an interesting topic to bring up. I live in the States, and we have a similar opportunity here. Unbeknownst to many in the U.S., our own ancient Native American culture underlies much of our civilization. Not only did they bring us the gifts of corn, tomatoes, potatoes, (and yes tobacco too), but also such ideas as fertilization of crops, many of our countries place names, and even the U.S. constitution was patterned after a Native American constitution.
We have one recurrent Native American figure who would fit the role of the Bodhisattva very well. This is Kokopelli. As an actual person, he first appeared in Central America long ago as a light skinned bearded man who came from across the ocean. He taught peace and compassion, among other things, and significantly changed those early societies for the better. He was known as the Feathered Serpent (however, why this name was chosen for him escapes my memory right now). As his teachings migrated northward, he became known as Kokopelli.
While I’m not suggesting that the Native American pantheon could be transferred into Buddhist iconography, it would not surprise me to find instances where personalities overlap between the two. And in a way, it might be interesting to see some of our country’s Native American influence mingle into what may eventually come to be known as American Buddhism. Certainly though, such fancies take a back seat to thrust and importance of Buddhism itself.
I would like to share a little bit of my experience with you, if I may. At one time in my life I had some very deep and interesting experiences while practicing Zen. These experiences galvanized my understanding and gave me a clear and potent vision of Buddhism, Zen in particular, and Practice in general. In short, I was ready to take on the world and baptize everyone with my true understanding of the Way. Unfortunately, my manuscript and articles were, I was told, “very interesting, but not what the publisher was looking for at this time.”
Many years later, I decided that it wasn’t so important that I awaken people to the truth that I knew myself. I decided that it was more important and useful if I could help people to awaken to their way of truth. And rather than get them to see my vision and practice my way, I would help them to see their own vision, and to practice their way. In short, rather than be a master, I would just be of service.
Thus, for people to believe what I know to be true isn’t as important as helping them to travel on their path, at least a little further. I had to see that each person has their own way of seeing life, what was important to them, and what was attuned to their path. After that, it didn’t become a question of whether they could see the way that was my way, but that perhaps they could realize the Way that was right with their path. Therefore, helping them, if I possibly could, became more meaningful for me than getting them to realize my way.
This is not to say that you should do the same as I. But, I can see that you too are galvanized with a vision and understanding that others may not be privy to. And, I can understand that you have done a great deal of research and study to validate your vision. This is great!
I can also understand what it is like to go up against the status quo, only to see your vision and understanding supplanted by lesser but more common views. So I will not tell you what to do, but hope that in some way I have shown you something meaningful to you.
The best rulers are scarcely known by their subjects;
The next best are loved and praised;
The next are feared;
The next despised:
They have no faith in their people,
And their people become unfaithful to them.
When the best rulers achieve their purpose
Their subjects claim the achievement as their own.
- Tao Te Ching
“Gaze at the wall until it reappears.”
If the wall reappears, do you understand?
“The one who has not mastered self can never master not-self…”
In mastering self, what do you gain? A lump of flesh?
“I and not-I --- Words of no concern to the man who would enjoy the county fair in all its samsaric holiness.”
The holy man, when having concern has concern, when not having concern has no concern. I or not I; as he meets it. Is this not the Way?
In the bright stillness of your presence, what passes for life, passes for life. There is the truth, the way is known. Mountains, mountains. Ways, ways. All knowing, all unknowable. Put some tofu on the barbecue.
A brief look at the basic realization of physical reality.
This whole subject is one of the more interesting ones for me. And over the decades I have enjoyed, through meditation, “studying” some of the underlying processes involved in this subject.
The mechanics are not too difficult to explain in brief, but to do an exhaustive description would be a meaty subject. Therefore, I will try to be general, but informative. And the first thing that I would like to say is that you will have a very difficult time understanding these concepts if you cling to the typical philosophical viewpoint that there is an actual solidly physical world upon which these bags of flesh dwell.
Instead you must understand that the situation is completely different. The world that you experience is created by you, on the fly, in “real-time.” (And when I say “you” here, I am not referring to the physical body that you call you, but to that non-physical personality that exists outside of time and space) You do this by projecting out, with your imagination, the elements that will make up your so-called physical world. Creating (what is in reality) an imaginary world for your self to dwell in. Then, you perceive these outward imaginings with the physical senses (part of the physical body, another object that you are projecting with your imagination), believing that these elements are physically real. And your body/brain processes these sensations, so they take on even more seeming validity (as it reacts to the sensations it perceives). Presto a world is born.
Each person that is participating in our particular world, does this for themselves; creating their own version of our world, which only they themselves truly perceive. Each person, in effect, creates their own “mini” world/universe in which they experience their life. There is no real physical planet existing in some vacuum somewhere, upon which we come to dwell.
The elements that we are projecting with our imaginations (to make our world) are very specific ones. They are taken from a vast group of “ideas” about the particular world that we are choosing to participate in. I describe them as ideas, but you could also think of these as bits of information. Information about every aspect of the world that we share. Just as an example: This group of “ideas” includes information about every rock and all its characteristics, including every spot on each rock and the shape and color of each of those spots, and the location of each rock in relation to everything else on this planet. These are “ideas” that are, in effect, about every element of our world, the world that we are all sharing now.
All of this information is constantly available to us, but we only use from it those “ideas” that are relevant to our immediate situation. And obviously this information is extremely detailed and dense. I would almost describe it as a field of ideas. And it is attracted to us because it is connected to the life that we are involved in. This is also quite an active field as well, because it is constantly bringing forth more relevant data, giving vitality to the world that we imagine. And this field not only includes information about the more static types of objects, such as rocks, but it also includes information about objects that seem to be in motion, as well. Everything from speeding jets to human voices.
This field of ideas, as I like to call it, is obviously far below the level of the human senses, because it is what they are based upon. It is also beneath the level of conscious thought, though I suspect that this might not be so strictly true for a gifted psychic. I would venture to speculate that it is even below the level of what is called the subconscious; I suppose it depends upon where one chooses to draw the lines of the psyche. It is with this field of ideas that we receive constant communication about every detail of the world that we are experiencing, both in our immediate environment, as well as the world at large. The communication is instantaneous and direct. It is only the physical senses that must wait for the phone to ring.
In effect, during every moment, we are creating a whole new world for ourselves to realize, as the underlying information continually updates to include different circumstances. It is through this constant interaction and exchange of information that our world is made to work. It is truly a collaborative effort. It is through agreeing amongst ourselves about how all of its different parts shall operate, how they shall appear, sound, etc that it all works and comes out as seeming to be one whole world.
The material that I have written above is what I have learned from my own direct experience (through meditation) of the processes that I have outlined. These findings have led me to surmise the following ideas as being the most likely understanding of how we enter into this collaborative illusion.
It is through the pregnancy period that the, as yet nonhuman, personality begins to familiarize itself with the “stream” of information that it will have to be oriented in (to be a part of the particular world that it has chosen to enter). The mother supports a fetus in her own version of the world, giving the newly incarnating personality a version of a fetus for it refer to. Therefore, it does not have to struggle to maintain all of the new and possibly overwhelming information by itself. The newly incarnating personality then has the opportunity to acquaint itself to the new sensations that it will begin to deal with, when it begins to continuously create its own “imaginary” version of the world for itself. It works with the information bit by bit, while the mother continues to maintain an overall structure of the fetus that the new personality can then learn about. The continued process of birth and growing up, is really more of a process of the underlying personality learning to identify which bits of the (underlying) information belongs to our world, so that it is materializing the correct data that is appropriate for the world that it has chosen to participate in. While the fetus is being maintained for it, for example, it can slowly identify the group of ideas that is the underlying information about the fetus, and learn to “imagine” these ideas as its own body.
As the personality pays more and more attention to the imaginings that it is projecting, it must turn its attention away from the nonphysical realm enraptured, as it were, by the seemingly physical processes that are taking place before it. This might be considered to be the establishment of the “ego self.” The side of the self that is present in our world.
It is important to understand that in the underlying reality, all of the information of all the worlds exists simultaneously. All of the worlds past, present, and future; all of the worlds parallel, probably, and possible. All of this information co-exists simultaneously together. There is no space or time “there”; those are locally produced phenomena, relevant only to physical life. It is through the process of pregnancy, birth, and growth that the personality learns to orient itself to the appropriate field of ideas that belong to the current world that it is participating in.
Therefore, when a personality incarnates into what seems to be successively different times or lands, it does not go to some place, or to some different time zone. Instead, it tunes into another of the streams of information that are the basis of another world, another seeming time and place. This is not done lightly, or willy-nilly, because it involves so much work to go through the birth/life process.
To understand the personality that is at the source of all these processes is, unfortunately, an even bigger topic to cover. But briefly, it has been my experience that at the center of this great activity is a personality that cannot define itself in terms of what is or what is not, because it can see that all is connected. Endlessly, each “awareness” leads to another, without a beginning to be found. Because there is no demarcation, it is unstoppable. Because there is no idea that can be pointed to as separate, there is never a starting point. To fathom the depths of this incredibly “beingness” is what it means to awaken to the true self. Not a being, it is the realization of the transcendently aware, self-realizing identity, found among the recognitions that know themselves in the all Truth revelation of endless knowledge, wisdom, presence, and light.
Although in this article I have made only the briefest of outlines of this area of cosmology, I hope that this will be, at least a little bit, helpful in understanding some of the basic processes involved.
Final note: It is been part of the focus of my work to help make Buddhism more accessible to a western (specifically American) audience. With this intention, I have tried to refrain from using ancient and/or obscure foreign words that only a few will understand, and have instead tried to put these ideas into plain English. And I would like to thank the more scholarly oriented participants for their open-minded approach to my work even though it may not be couched in the philosophical terms that they are so conversant with.
A more full article on this subject, entitled “The Formation of Physical Reality”, can be found at Bodhimind Institute:
click here.
I would first like to applaud you for your honesty and bravery. In both exploring your reality, and in letting the chips fall where they may – whether or not they agree with what “so called Zen” purports to entail.
After several decades of practice, I have discovered that the makeup of what we call “the self” is far more complicated and interesting than any of the usual models that we are currently given do justice to. I think I understand what your talking about, that “lake of self”, that part of you “that moves when listening to music”.
The true personality that we call our self is far deeper and more rich than these little physical lives that we play out our dramas of reality in. However, this greater personality, though it’s one’s self, is yet not the truth of the self.
In knowing this “self” though, in witnessing its thusness, one is stepping off the terrain into the unknownness of the truth of self. And in that which is known as emptiness, the revelation of the Way is “seen” bare. It is in this revelation that the thusness of the self, that we take for granted as our lives and being, is tempered by the illumination of truth that is the Way.
So in Zen, we watch the “lake”, watch the heart, watch the stirrings of self; aware with breathing. And in this open honest discovery of that which is, our self is revealed. Its not quite searching, or examination, per se. It is “seeing”.
This is a fundamental flaw that creeps into some Buddhist intellectualization. My experience has been that one does not give up or away the “self”. But rather that “self” is realized as it truly is.
And while that realization, that true “self,” may be beyond the breadth and scope of one’s previous understandings and philosophies of “self”, it is still not an elimination of self.
It has been my experience that it is seeing into the very nature of self itself, and in that unfathomable understanding of truth, one is able to realize the manifestation of the self that we live and breath as, to be.
One’s realization of the self that we live and breath as is tempered with this profound realized view.
And in this view the cares and troubles, the joys and pleasures of the physical self that we must endure as physical beings, is seen as the precious flowers that spring up from the manure of life – not one’s true self, but the experience of reality that one finds while one is steeped in the truth of it.
"So, how can one manage to meditate for some years/months without a break? Any ideas?"
I understand the difficulties that you’ve outlined here. My own solution has been to work at part time jobs, save my earnings as much as I can, and then when I have enough saved I quit the job and just practice for several months until I run out of money. I have done this over the course of 25 years, working part time in the design industry.
I have taken several sabbaticals from work, the longest being a year and a half, the shortest being 10 months. I live alone in a little cottage without a television and telephone. My part time employment schedule means I have several days a week in which to practice meditation. And the solitude of my little cottage means that I don’t have distracting housemate issues to deal with (but then of course, if the bathroom doesn’t get cleaned, I’m the only one to blame :-).
I’m not saying that it’s been easy. Forget about buying toys, fashion, and entertainment. (I have been on food stamps once, and I know the places around town where they give food away to the indigent.) And it takes a lot of discipline. You must keep yourself physically fit by exercising regularly. You have to be very committed to practice, because there isn’t going to be anyone else there to insure that you do. And you have to continue on through countless failures, doubts, frustrations, fears and lost hopes. But, ah well, just another day on planet Earth.
Hope this gives you some encouragement,
I hate to have to tell you this, but life is not about having the answers or about knowing what to do in a given situation. Having either of those are just more to attach yourself to. Learning to travel light – without the burden of attachments – means that openness to the wisdom of each situation develops in the attention that your presence in the situation brings.
Learn to be comfortable in “not knowing” and you will have a friend in seeing the inner grace and beauty that each situation and person brings to life. And in not having the answers, you will have no ego (built on the certainty of self assurance) to defend from indignity.
Although there are many wonderful precepts to guide your life, your presence in the moment, with awareness and attention, will guide you in knowing reality as it reveals itself in each precious instant. And in that revelation, the Truth whispers its Way of being that brings the quickness of life into the fullness of realization as its own answer to the moment’s welfare.
The problem here is that one cannot equate emptiness with selflessness. While it might be convenient to try to do so to bolster ones opinion, this is still not what is being said.
The eight-fold path is like breathing; I do it because it feels right.
Ah… but isn’t courage always laced up by fear?
Riding the water buffalo, he turns and exclaims: “Where is it?”
Wisdom or folly?
We may lament our fate. But, in truth, the unnamable is.
First there is a mountain, then there is no mountain, then there is.
Foolishly riding the water buffalo, we look around and ask: “Where is it?”
I’m not so sure that it’s who you are, but what you do once you know.
Still looking for it? / Still trying to find it?
I can see the obit. now:
Famous Zen Master gored by water buffalo.
In a shock to the online cyber Sangha it was learned today that a famous Zen Master was gored by his own water buffalo. Apparently the water buffalo was a constant companion to the Zen Master and went with him everywhere.
In an exclusive interview with his neighbor Mrs. Edith Friendly, this journal has learned the truth about the water buffalo and the Zen Master’s friendship.
Mrs. Friendly said: “Well yes, he and that water buffalo were inseparable, ‘went with him everywhere he went. They were quite a pair. It always reminded he of that movie with Jimmy Stewart. Remember the one “Harvey”? Where he saw the Pooka, but no one else did?
“Well with the Master, it was just the opposite. Everyone saw this water buffalo that went with him, but he never acknowledged it. At least he never let on that he knew it was there.
“If you asked him about it, he would turn this fierce gaze upon you and ask: 'Who sees the water buffalo?' Strangest thing.
The Zen Master is succeeded by his adult children, now all successful millionaires who many times offered to help their father see this water buffalo, but he refused.
You’re understandably in a difficult time right now, a transition point. You are preparing to begin to make your way through life under your own power. This is both scary and intimidating, to be sure. And the accompanying uncertainty easily brings alive every misgiving you may have ever had about this admittedly messy world we call life.
It’s good to hear that you choose to challenge yourself with some difficult schoolwork. It’s been obvious that school is not providing enough stimuli to invoke much interest in work. What was unfortunate was that while a program may be set up to challenge one’s physical and mental resources, they are not set up to challenge one’s imagination and creativity – thus it is boring.
Nevertheless, I think, it is a great experience. To have to draw upon your resources of discipline, not only so that you know that you are capable of using them – and therefore more confident in yourself – but also so that you realize there is a price to pay in doing so, and thus learn that it is wise to evaluate the value of doing so before making such a commitment.
Unfortunately, you will still have to endure some more tedious and boring life requirements. So put a smile on your face and face them with joy. However, in the near future, if it hasn’t happened already, you will fall into some very interesting field. Perhaps quite by accident. Which will engage you and your interests so much that you will gladly work until way past 12:00 and not even notice the time. (You may choose to call it a “career” if you like.)
And you may just find that it is not whether life has meaning, it’s that you have given it meaning. And it’s certainly ok to bitch about stuff too.
