The Other Side of Chuwen

I’ve been sitting on this little nugget for a few days now. I didn’t want to heap more on you while you were in buzz-saw mode. But, now perhaps you might be able to get something out of this:

You’re still blaming yourself for not attaining Enlightenment it seems. And no doubt, angry as hell – at yourself (more than others, I would guess) – that you still haven’t done it. Especially after all these years and years. (And with you, probably knowing all that there is to know, too.)

Forgiving yourself for being a failure is not an easy thing, I know.

Forgiveness can never begin until we are willing to forgive ourselves. I’m not going to tell you that there is a Magic Mantra out there that can solve your problem.

To be honest with you, if you want to know the Highest Truth, you’ve got to be willing to give up being right. And I don’t think you’re ready to do that yet. You get a lot out of being right, and seeing yourself in the right.

We come here to learn certain lessons. I know that it is difficult. Sometimes it seems unbearably so. This is why these lessons are so important for each of us to learn. How much can you really lose by facing your dilemmas? How much more can you learn by going with it, learning from it, instead of trying to escape it?

Stop feeling guilty and resentful about not being happy, or wealthy, or handsome. Go with what you have and what you are. See what you can do with it. If you’re sad and depressed, go with those, enjoy them. I bet Seattle is a wonderful city to be depressed in; the cloudy skies, its named after the leader of a repressed people.

In meditation, we are aware of our feelings, not passing judgment on them, witnessing them as they flow through our life. In the belly of this experience is where the gestalt takes place, where the alchemy of awareness turns your experience into illumination. The deeper the crucible, the hotter the fire, the stronger the temper, the greater the light of the soul. You cannot realize this through escape, only through presence.

You know you can do it.